Trouble with the Law

… As you know, my job, I was looking all over the car


An off duty French policeman takes a few days to hitchhike through the French countryside to visit some mates.  He is excited when he quickly gets picked up, but he starts looking all over the car and soon regrets his decision to accept the friendly ride…

This cop finds hitchhiking with strangers in France mostly OK. Mostly.

A young lawman hitches across France and notices some strange things in his ride…

Gabriel:  I was hitchhiking from Calais, France to Barcelona.

I was with a couple with hitchhiking.  They left me at on toll by the motorway.  I set down put my bag on the ground to rest a little bit because it was very heavy.  Another guy came with a van just after I set it down.

Normally you should put your thumb up when you hitchhike, I didn’t even do that.  I just put my bag on the ground, and this guy stopped in front of me to ask me where I’m going.  So, I tell him I’m going to Bordeaux because it was one of my stops during my travels.

He asked me, “Where are you going?”
“To Bordeaux.”
He said to me, “OK, I’m going there, so you can get into the car.”

So, thats what I did.  I got into the car.  We were talking, and he asked, “So where did you start?”
“I started in Calais.  I’m going to Barcelona in Spain to meet a friend.”
“OK! I’m just going to bring you to meet a friend in Bordeaux.  She’s going to come with us next to the Spanish border.  You can come with us, and after you can see what you want to do, whether you find another car or something like this to go to Barcelona after.”

I said OK.

After a few kilometers, a few miles if you want, he said to me, “OK, I didn’t told you before, I don’t have my driving license and.”

Me: This is a big deal.
Gabriel:  Yeah. And the thing is, that in France, we’ve got points.  You have twelve points on a driving license. If you drive bad or do something wrong, you can lose your points.  If you lose all your points, you lose your driving license.

So I asked him, “Ok, how did you do to lose it? What did you do?”
He said, “Oh no, I never had it. I never had my driving license before.”

Ok, first bad point for you.  As you know, my job, I was looking all over the car. Saw something in the roof, something was hidden inside.

And after a few miles he asked me, “Do you mind if I smoke a joint?”
“Actually no,” I told him.  “It makes me sick.  The smell gives me headaches.”
“Yeah.  Sometimes I’ll takes drugs in a music festival.”

Ah, OK, second point.  Thank you.

We saw an accident on the motorway.  People were going out on the motorway.  They ran over something and their tires were flat.  We went out also to see if everything is ok for us.  He had two dogs in the car, and one of them jumped out the window.

When the first dog went out of the window, he shouted, “Oh, ACAB!! Come here!!”

ACAB means,
“All cops are bastards”
Ok, I think maybe I am a bastard?

Gabriel:  All countries, even in Europe, people who do not like cops, they use, “ACAB.”

Me:  I never heard this before, this is new for me.
Gabriel:  Yeah, so, ok, maybe he doesn’t have to know what my job is?  If he asks me, I will tell him I’m studying foreign languages.  I think it’s gonna be ok.  And, so I just tell him, “It’s going to be OK.”

I turn on my phone, just touch it and say, “Hello.”  I told him that my friend wanted to meet me in Bordeaux, so he just left me there at a gas station, just near to Bordeaux.  He wished me good luck.  

So, he was friendly.  He was helpful.  But I did not want to get in trouble if something happens on the motorway.  He doesn’t have any driving license, and I’ve got all my police stuff, my police card, something like this in my wallet, so I don’t want to spend my time in a police station if something bad happened.

Me:  Right
Gabriel:  I was supposed to be in holidays, not in custody!
Me: Damn, well, did you get another hitchhiking after that?
Gabriel:  Yeah, just a few minutes after, maybe fifteen minutes after.


What would you do if you got to the beach and it was on fire?

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