Inebriated Incidents

The Boat Party… The Boat Party!

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An American traveling in Budapest is making the most of his evening; drinking and partying with fellow hostel goers. They get tickets to a boat party and very nearly find themselves swimming in the frigid waters.

It's only a good idea to fall off the boat party if you spot a cute mermaid

You better be a strong swimmer if you decide to fall off the party boat

David: Okay, so it’s my first night in Budapest, and I was lucky enough to get in on a Friday night.

There’s this huge party on some yacht.  A ton of people, free drinks, all the good stuff. So, of course, first thing I do is start pre-drinking with free drinks, because God forbid I show up sober.

I don’t mind drinking alone, but the best part of hostel life is how hard that is to do.  I met this Aussie girl, whose name I don’t know but I’m 99% sure was a math major, and this really cool Mexican/American guy who used to be a priest.  We went out and found a place to buy cheap alcohol. Which, it turns out, is basically everywhere.

We got to the store and did the usual scan for the perfect drink.  We went for the iconic cheap drunk liquor: vodka.  At this point, it’s 3 or 4PM, so the perfect time to start drinking it.

After some drinking and bullshitting, we get some dinner at the hostel with some fellow hostel goers.  Luckily for us, this hostel is well known for drinking games before, during, and after the meal.  You meet up, start drinking, eat dinner, keep drinking, and THEN go to the party.  They gave us bracelets to show taxi drivers so we could get a ride home.,  Every night, I was sure I wouldn’t need it, and every night I used it.

By this point, I’ve already drank the bottle of vodka, with help of course.  I am pretty drunk, and that has a tendency to make me THE most social, friendly person alive, buzzin’ around giving free drinks to anyone I could see.

Which, as fun as it is for me, might be a bit of a cunt move to the initial people.

Though, in my defense, it wasn’t one of those, “Oh you’re boring, I’m going to leave and talk to someone else.”  I would get up to buy two drinks, meet someone new, and start talking to them, ect.

Which is awful because every time I met someone new, I’d ask, “I’ve started drinking polenka, have you had polenka before? I had for the first time in Romania. Oh, this hostel in Romania made it homemade, you have to try it!”

Which led to me buying a dozen shots for other people, which would go along with the dozen shots I’d buy for myself.  At this point, it’s probably 11 o’clock at night, and we’re being drunkenly herded to this boat party.

The boat party that I had to pay 8000 Hungarian to get onto, so I was definitely gonna go.  There was no way I wasn’t going to make it.

We finally get on this boat, and this boat had a promise of free alcohol, which at the time I bought the ticket I was thinking, “Oh that’s great” and at this time I’m thinking, “Oh my God, if I drink more I’m gonna literally die.”  Which, again, is coming from someone that had basically become a professional at only drinking themselves HALF to death.

Now, we’re finally on this boat.  I’m drunk enough to be dancing in the rain because it was too hot inside the boat.  I get tired, so I decide to sit on the railing of this four hundred person yacht, with back to the river, talking to people and having a blast.

And then, without any warning, I was upside down.

I had slipped backwards on the rails while still grabbing hold of them.  I had extended both of my legs, one of which hit the t – shaped metal bar that extended upward, which under normal circumstances is usually used for attaching ropes.

All of this happened in the space of about half a second, and without me making a sound.  I was too drunk to give a shit; it was just like, “Oh wow, I’m upside-down now, sweet!”  I don’t know how I held on, but I’m thinking it was just that I had a good grip originally and didn’t even have time to think about letting go.  So, I’m hanging there for a few seconds, and while I’m pretty sure I could keep that part up, no way in Hell can I get myself back on this fucking boat.

The guys talking to me grabbed me my the shirt and pulled me up. I couldn’t pick them out of a line-up now (or even the rest of the night), but they saved my goddamn life and I thanked them for it.

Now, for reference, it wasn’t like this was a minor railing. This was a legit  fall straight into the river, maybe 8 or 9 meters down, while the boat was in the exact middle of the river, and with the very real possibility of the boat going right over me.

But, I’m alive, the party goes on, and after another hour or two passes, I’m right back to sitting on that fucking railing.  Swear to God.  But this time I’m thinking, “It’s fine, because I’m going to be really careful, and I’m really leaning far forward.”

People come up to me, and say “Yo guys, you can’t do this, people have fallen off and died.”  So, I jump down onto the deck, and ask, “Oh shit, oh shit, someone died from doing this? You remember that asshole that like, almost fell off earlier?  You hear about it?  You hear about it?”  Because that was just the funniest thing in the world to me.

I still think it is, to be honest with you. Because I lived, and I was celebrating my life in the face of death, even as obnoxious as the roar was.

Shit, now this sounds like it was a really positive story, because I romanticized the shit out of almost falling off a boat like the drunk asshole I was (and am).

 

Sometimes you meet strange people.  Other times, you share a room with them while they masturbate to cartoon porn.

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